Tag Archives: sam worthington

Not Quite A Haiku Review: 300: Rise Of An Empire (2014)

300-rise-of-an-empire-sullivan-stapleton-bow-arrow

THIS IS DULL, LACKLUSTRE SPARTA!
A sequel that runs parallel to 300.
It isn’t very much fun.

Stapleton is nae Gerry B.
He graduated from Sam Worthington’s English school.
You’ll hardly remember him tomorrow.

We always see your tits,
But damn Eva, y u so fit?
Your combat earcuff be bangin’.

Calisto’s pa is rather young.
Jack O’Connell seems so out of place.
Oh hello David Wenham’s thighs.

Rodrigo Santoro is barely recognisable.
Make sure you play ‘Spot Michael Fassbender’.
Very stylish, but incredibly boring.

VERDICT: 2/5

Trailer Talk: High School Reunions, Scottish Princesses, Pregnancy And A French Romance

The end of the world, Bollywood Bond, Stifler returns, confused teens, Scottish princesses, sexual fetishes, French romances, really rubbish horror, really amazing fight scenes, high school papers, sleeping around, pregnancy, lots of Gods and stunning child’s play – let’s talk trailers: Continue reading

Trailer Talk: Bruce Wayne, Space Jockeys and Hobbitses

Bruce Wayne, Space Jockeys, Hobbitses, Gods, R-Pattz, Channing Tatum trying to be a comedian, a PVC-clad Beckinsale and discontented teachers. Let’s talk trailers: Continue reading